St Peter’s grievous fall had wounded Jesus more than all his other injuries. “And the Lord, turning, looked on Peter.” (Lk 22:61) It was a glance of mingled reproach and mercy, which instantly wrought his conversion.
Daily Jesus shows this same goodness towards numerous poor sinners. He looks mercifully on them as he did with the penitent King David when he cried out, “Look thou upon me, and have mercy on me” (Ps 51:1).
Terror had so completely possessed St Peter and blinded him to the extent of his sin. Jesus came to his rescue, and opened his eyes. Henceforth, his gratitude was fervent and constant. If we recall our past sins, we will know how often grace has roused us from the sleep of death. Deep, then, ought to be our gratitude.
“Peter remembered the words Jesus had said: ‘Before the cock crows twice, thou shalt thrice deny me.’” (Mk 14:72; Mt 26:75) One look from Jesus wrought a sudden and wonderful change in the heart of the faithless disciple. In an instant the darkness which surrounded his soul disappeared. He saw clearly the gravity of his sin.
He remembered all his Master’s forewarnings at the last Supper and in the Garden of Olives. His heart was filled, not with despair, but with deepest contrition. He was transformed into the model of a true penitent.
Grace indeed works wonders! Silently, it penetrates the soul, strengthens; and shows it the instability of creatures, the horror of sin, filling it with a deep, salutary contrition. It makes the sinner shed tears of grief, love, and joy; purifies the soul from unruly affections; disengages it from the world and draws it towards God.
“And going forth, he wept bitterly.” (Lk 22:62) The fall of St Peter had been grievous and public. His repentance was generous and fervent. Immediately, he fled from the place and the company which had occasioned his fall. Alone, he began to shed those bitter tears which may be said never ceased till his death.
He mourned over the humiliation of his fall, the thought of his ingratitude, the grief and pain he had given at the very moment his Divine Master was manifesting his love for him. Not only did our Lord pardon his penitent disciple, but gave back all the privileges which had been granted him before his fall.
If we, like St Peter, have been unfaithful, let us imitate him in his repentance. Recalling our past ingratitude and of God’s goodness to us, should inspire us with deeper humility, more steadfast trust, and an unlimited generosity in works of charity. Thus, with God’s grace, we shall be able to bring good out of evil.
Ref: cf “Practical Meditations” by a Father of the Society of Jesus, 1964, pp115-7
Conversion Is, Above All, Acceptance
“Return to me ... I will return to you.” (Zech 1:3)
Here is another invocation from the Lenten liturgy, introducing us to the whole reality of conversion. We convert to God, who awaits us. He awaits in order to turn to us, ‘to convert’ us. We journey toward God, He desires to come to meet us. Let us open up to God, who desires to open to us.
Conversion is not a one-way process, unilateral ... Being converted means believing in God who loved us first, who has loved us eternally in His Son; and through His Son gives us grace and truth in the Holy Spirit. That Son was crucified, so as to speak to us with His arms spread as widely as God is open to us. How incessantly God ‘converts to us’, through the Cross of His Son!
Our conversion is in this way not a unilateral aspiration at all. It is not only an effort on the part of the human will, understanding and heart. It is not only a commitment to directing our humanity upwards, when it so heavily tends downwards.
‘Conversion is’ above all, ‘acceptance’. It is the effort to accept God in all the wealth of his ‘conversion’ (‘convertar’: ‘I shall be converted’) to man. This conversion is a Grace.
An effort of understanding, of heart and of will, is also indispensable for accepting Grace. It is indispensable for not losing the Divine dimension of life in the human dimension; for persevering in it.
Ref: cf Pope John Paul II, “Prayers and Devotions”, 1994, p132
The malice of venial sin
The effort of personal conversion which the Lord asks of us is an action for each day of our lives. However, in certain situations, as in Lent, we receive special graces which we must avail of. Lent is an extraordinary opportunity for a maximum struggle against sin and to increase in ourselves the life of grace with good works.
To understand better the malice of sin we must recall what Jesus Christ suffered for our sins. “We can very well say that the Passion which the Jews made Christ suffer was almost nothing compared with what Christians make him undergo with their insults of mortal sins ... what horror there will be when [he] shows us the things for which we have abandoned him!” (St Jean Vianney [The ‘Curé d’Ars’], “Sermon on Sin”)
Our Lord has called us to holiness, to love with deeds. How we regard deliberate venial sin will determine our progress in interior life. Failure to struggle against venial sins or if contrition for them is not enough, grievously damaged the soul. Lukewarmness sets in.
These venial sins make the soul insensitive to the inspirations and motions of the Holy Spirit. Practise of the virtues becomes more difficult. Furthermore, venial sins weaken the life of grace, and incline one towards mortal sin. “How sad you make me feel when you are not sorry for your venial sins! For until you are, you will not begin to live a real interior life.” (Dom Benedict Baur, “In Silence with God”)
Let us ask Our Lady to grant us a loathing not only for mortal sin, but also for deliberate venial sin.
Ref: cf Francis Fernandez, “In Conversation with God”, 2:103-5
Our Lady -- “To Jesus we always go, and to him we always return, through Mary.” (St Josemaria Escrivá, “The Way”, 495)
“Have confidence: Return. Invoke our Lady and you’ll be faithful.” (Ibid, Op cit, 514)
In the year 911, the city of Chartres was miraculously delivered from the siege laid to it by Rollo or Raoul, Duke of the Normans; for as he was on the point of taking the city, Gaucelin, the forty-seventh Bishop of Chartres, mounted on the top of the ramparts, holding a relic of Our Lady as an ensign, “which struck such terror in the enemy’s camp, that all retreated in disorder”; in memory of this fact, the meadows of the Drouaise gate are called, to this day, the meadows of the Repulsed ('des Recules') — Sebastien Rouillard, Parthenie, c. 7, n. 5. (“Catholic Gems or Treasures of the Church” Historical Calendar; http://www.bethlehemobserver.com); (maryfest.htm / www.starharbor.com/santiago/m_feasts.html)
Our Lady of the Underground. Chartres, France. 911.(http://www/divinewill.org/feastofourlady.htm); (www.iskandar.com/ourlady/ourladyfeasts.html)
Our Lady of the Underground (‘Notre-Dame de Sous Terre’; Our Lady of the Crypt). One of three venerated statues of Mary in Chartres cathedral, in a subterranean chapel. (www.marylinks.org/Mary-Calendar.htm)
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